Leaning on Faith

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” -Proverbs 3:5-6

I decided to start a blog based on the advice of a good friend, a prayer warrior, that has helped me in more ways than I can describe. It won’t be easy because it adds another layer of vulnerability, however I think it will be a great way to share our journey with close family and friends and allow us to ask for specific prayers along the way.

Surprises Every Step of the Way

After deciding we wanted to try for another child, Adam and I got pregnant surprising very quickly. I thought I was having symptoms of the Coronavirus (headache, feeling extremely tired and not great all around). After taking a pregnancy test, BAM!- the dark line showed up immediately. Fast forward to the first ultrasound appointment, which I attended alone since Adam wasn’t allowed to come with me, and we found out we were pregnant with TWINS! I cannot express the shock that this was and still is! I had conveniently forgotten that my grandmother had two sets of twin siblings, and that based on family history on the female’s side, this gave us increased chances of this happening. After the shock (and fear) settled a bit, we were then surprised to find out we were adding two more BOYS to our family! With my nausea and different symptoms this time around, we weren’t expecting that as well. Then, there came the anatomy ultrasound at 20 weeks. A surprise that made our hearts drop and immediately sent fear and panic through my veins.

Both baby’s anatomy and genetic testing had shown to be perfectly fine and on track up until this point. Even throughout this ultrasound, everything was looking great. Upon closer inspection of the videos of Baby A’s heart, my OBGYN and the ultrasound tech concluded that there was an abnormality with his heart. The gripping news of this, as I was yet again alone in the exam room, made me feel so out of control. I felt dizzy, couldn’t control my breathing and was desperately trying to figure out more information that the doctor couldn’t provide.

I walked back to my car in a daze. Making calls and texting family and friends grasping at something or someone’s words to hold onto. I was scheduled to meet with the Maternal Fetal Specialist several days later. We found out there that this “significant heart abnormality” consisted of labored left chambers with thickened walls and a narrowing of the aortic valve leading from those chambers. We were scheduled to meet with a pediatric cardiologist to have a fetal echocardiogram on November 6th. Faced yet again with not a lot of information, I googled what these symptoms may match up with and read some things that just sent me into such a panicked state. How terrifying, vulnerable, helpless and raw you feel in moments like this. Tears and the complete lack of appetite followed for the next few days. I found myself feeling desperate to not feel like that. To fight through this somehow to become strong for these boys and our family. To take care of myself. I messaged a couple of dear friends, who are so strong in their faith, to find some bit of comfort. I found so much more.

I have always kept my faith and relationship with God more private than public for sure. I have relied on my faith on many occasions throughout my life, especially when Aaron was going through his surgeries. The two years spent enduring unknowns and procedures with him, definitely ignited my faith in a new way. Trusting in God to put the right people in our path, the right doctors with the right care, etc. was no easy task. Once again I was faced with either relying on worry and anxiety, or relying on a deeper faith in who God is and what God can do. If you haven’t surrounded yourself with people who have a deep, strong faith and who are walking in their faith daily, you are missing out on a type of village you haven’t experienced before. When I say that their messages have breathed LIFE into me over the past two weeks, I mean God has truly transformed my emotional and mental mindset by speaking through these friends. I understand what it means to witness to others, and how this trickle-effect takes shape.

In the moments I read their messages, a peace and calm came over me that I can’t explain. Without making this initial post too long, I want to share some parts of the things they shared with me.

“He has you wrapped around His arms and I pray that you feel His comforts daily. Keep your faith strong. I am praying for a miracle. Praying, claiming that this miracle lies in Baby A’s coming days, weeks, months. Please Keep me updated I want my prayers to be as specific as possible.”

“We are going to claim that God has this, it is all part of his perfect and beautiful plan and that he has already orchestrated the outcome and next steps! I literally told myself every morning that God knew the outcome of every day and I just prayed for the courage and faith to continue knowing how loved my babies were and I was.”

“This will all be part of not only your testimony as a child of God, but it will be a part of baby A’s testimony. Going through this process and seeing your faith and God’s love transpire through this in front of your eyes, it will be a sentiment of how faithful God is.”

“God can do what He says He can do. I am who God says I am. I can do all things through Christ. God’s Word is alive and active in me”.

“God gives us the grace for each day as it comes and not before. He will give you everything you need to accomplish His purpose (not yours or someone else’s) for that day and that is sufficient. God will guard your heart and mind and give you the strength you need.”

I cannot tell you how much peace these words have brought me. I know God meant for these things to be spoken specifically to me and Adam and I have been able to share these words with a few others. The testimonies and the ministering that is taking place is already a glimpse at the bigger picture and purpose of this journey we have just begun. Adam has been amazing through every step of this. He has been a constant source of support, he has prayed over and over with me, and been a gentle reminder to put things in perspective and to be strong. He is a rock that I can’t imagine doing any of this without. He put things in a great way. He said- “We’ll have three happy boys, running around, playing with each other. If one needs a little more care at first, that’s ok. We’ll get through it.” I needed to hear that more than I knew.

Our fetal echocardiogram is this Friday at 9am. I am a big believer in prayer warriors and BOLD prayers. Prayers that proclaim and declare the power of God and His ability to provide blessings that seem impossible in our human eyes. I believe that with true Trust and Faith, praying bold prayers can be so powerful. I ask that you join us in our bold prayer for Baby A. “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20.

Lord, we come to You in prayer for the health and safety for this sweet baby’s heart. We know you are capable of miracles that we can’t understand or that can’t be explained. We proclaim and declare that You are capable of healing this baby’s heart before any intervention is needed. We pray that You do what doctor’s think isn’t likely or possible.

I know that no matter what this journey holds, these boys are His. They were His before they were ever conceived. He has them in the palm of His hand and knows the amazing plans he has for our family. We ask that you stand with us in prayers for these babies, this pregnancy and for baby A’s heart. We ask for prayers for strength during these appointments, and time of waiting. Pray for God’s presence, peace, and strength to be with us each step of the way.

I encourage you to read the story of this family who JUST had triplets. One of their triplets was facing impossible odds…BUT GOD! I actually came across this family’s story at the very beginning of this pregnancy, not knowing the news that would lie ahead. It has stayed with me ever since.

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About Baby C: I just wanted to give an update on one of our babies. This is long so get ready… When I went to my 1st Maternal Fetal Medicine appointment in Birmingham I was 12 1/2 weeks pregnant. This was just a routine appointment to meet the providers and ask any questions since I’m having higher order multiples. I got an ultrasound done and was enamored by how sweet they all looked! After the ultrasound they put me back in the room to have my appointment with the obgyn. I was excited to go over my list of questions with her..but I never got to do that. She came in and said “we need you to come back to this other room to do a more in depth ultrasound..we have to take a look at something. My heart sank. I immediately knew something was wrong. I began running through everything in my mind.. They all had heartbeats..I saw it. They all had their legs and arms.. What could be wrong with my perfect babies!? By the time I got back to the room I was shaking. I Didn’t wait for the ultrasound. As soon as the door closed I asked what was going on..what was wrong!? The doctor began to explain to me that baby c had a severe birth defect called an “omphalocele” This meant the baby’s guts (small and large intestines, liver, kidneys etc.) were outside of its body instead of in his belly. But the bad news continued. They explained to me that unlike a similar health issue called Gastroschisis, an omphalocele is usually (but not always) related to chromosomal abnormalities such as Down syndrome or other trisomy disorders. They went on to explain that many omphalocele babies have severe heart displacement/defects and that this also greatly increases the chances of stillbirth. This isn’t an exhaustive list of the things they told me but I couldn’t retain everything because I was crying and couldn’t focus. They said my options were: selective reduction….the answer was immediately no. An amniocentesis to see if there were any chromosomal abnormalities…the risks outweighed the “benefits” and we didn’t really care to find out because we knew we were going to love this baby no matter what! CONTINUED IN COMMENTS

A post shared by Rachel Jenkins (@jenkins.triplets.and.toddlers) on Jun 21, 2020 at 5:18pm PDT

If you’re looking to be uplifted, here are some powerful songs I am listening to on repeat right now that have spoken to me and this current journey we are on…

We will continue to update as we walk on this journey. We are SO BLESSED to have each of you here praying for us, for Aaron, and for these babies. Your continued messages, calls, check-ins, etc. are helping to carry us through the tough moments. Thank you so very much!

❤️ Amy